struggle bus: process + ceramics
I've been researching a lot about techniques and practices with ceramics lately. ONE because there are so many cute/cool/puzzling objects in the market right now and I'm dying to know how, and TWO, as a birthday gift my parents bought me a 5 week course at a clay studio in Philadelphia (thanx Mom and Dad!) so I'm reading up and getting inspired. I'm also a little...stuck.
Y'all, it seems like ages since I have put my hands to work. Okay, yeah, my last post was about playing around with clay but I'm talking about before that. If you've been in a wood shop or metal shop before, knew what you were doing (or maybe you fake your confidence, too!), you've got an idea on paper, the feeling is sometimes... inexplainable? Just kidding! Hours and hours fly by before it takes my stomach telling me its dinner time and I realize I've been at it nonstop all darn day. I don't run for the high or do things like skydive, but I do cut things on a table saw. I just want to get back in the shop, please! Right? Maybe... I think part of me has been productively procrastinating. I always have the opportunity to sketch or brainstorm, but I can admit now that lately I've come up with anything and everything to do instead. I realized it's a self-esteem thing and I'm learning more about dealing with that. I have ideas! It's just finding the confidence to put them on paper and challenge myself to figure them out. Then again, the other thing leaving me in a rut is the process. It's so super important for me to sketch and test: going back and forth between pen+paper and a 3D or tactile material helps me work through a design. Funny thing though, I've also found myself scared to play around with paper models or foam (ok but foam is awful and no one likes foam so that's one excuse) after pen+paper. FML, right?! I love doing these things and being in the shop. It's so rewarding for me and makes me simply so happy! So what the hell, self?? Accepting suggestions/advice on how to block out creative anxiety. Does anyone else feel this way when they want to be creative but are scared of making a mistake? And it's not that I would even be "making a mistake" in front of an audience or having to answer to someone! Even with self expression that I do for only myself to see and do for the sake of being creative, I still feel anxious. Ideas? Where should I go with this? Back to the table saw? Maybe I should take this journal entry to the table saw! LOL
I sound completely nuts but I trust the process. This is why I'm so excited to be taking this basic ceramic class. New place, new people, new medium, no judgment. I just have to remind myself to not judge me. To be critical of my work and not myself. And to be a little more fearless. Hopefully in the future I can write a post about tips for overcoming creative struggles. Here's to giving myself a fair chance to create and be fearlessly happy in these moments! I'll keep my progress with this posted. Here is some ceramic candy I've got my eye on!
Keep vibin :)